Remember I told you a couple weeks ago about how bad I am at being the Tooth Fairy? And how my nine-year-old still unquestioningly believes in her contrary to all logic?
Well the other day my six-year-old daughter joined in. She’s lost a handful of teeth already.
The last three were all in one horrible,
middle of the night,
It was horrifying. Like a dental horror movie.
Imagine lots of blood and one big psychopath tooth coming in behind the nice sweet baby teeth, twisting them sideways—actually sideways, you understand— and leaving them dangling, still clinging for dear life to the gums with the strongest gum-attachment ever found in a tiny girl’s mouth.
Then add in a lot more blood.
I think at one point a tooth was crying.
Or maybe that was me.
ANYWAY, my daughters’s been a little leery of the whole losing-teeth thing since then.
So the other day she took a break from watching snowflakes fall to ask, “Mom, how on EARTH does the tooth fairy not FREEZE TO DEATH on cold nights when she has to go do the teeth thing?”
To which I answered, “Really, of all the questions that the tooth fairy raises, I would think that particular one is way down the list.”
She thought a moment then said, “Hmm. You’re right. The tooth fairy is kind of crazy.”
Then she squinted at me. “Are YOU the tooth fairy?”
And I panicked, because WHO CAN HANDLE THAT LEVEL OF INTERROGATION?
“Me?” I didn’t make eye contact. “Hmm. What do you think?” ‘Cause that’s not suspicious or anything.
And she shared a little secret smile with me and whispered, “I think you are.”
This was it! The long con was over! Motormouth was about to turn around and announce to her brothers what she had just discovered. Was I relieved? Stressed? A little sad?
I still don’t know because at that moment fate intervened and Daddy drove into the driveway. In the daily chaos of greeting that ensued the tooth fairy was forgotten.
But now I’m in limbo. She knows. But will she remember to tell them?
What am I supposed to do? Just pretend she never asked? Because that’s my current plan.
Anyone have any ingenious ideas?